


If I tell you all the little things that I think that I need

by Cairo_Raiser545



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-20 12:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30004767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cairo_Raiser545/pseuds/Cairo_Raiser545
Summary: This isn’t a fic really, it’s a long winded dedication to fics that made me cry, and the authors behind them.Title from Frank Turner’s “My Kingdom for a Horse”
Comments: 2





	If I tell you all the little things that I think that I need

There are a few things that come to mind when you hear the word fanfiction.

If I turned to my friend to ask what came to mind, they might mention Wattpad, offhandedly comment on X-Readers and bad ship fics. Maybe that horrid and mildly concerning fic they stumbled across once.

Never would someone’s first reaction be love. Never is someone’s first instinct to talk about a fic that felt like words pulled from someone’s veins, felt like they were being pulled out and placed on a page, something to relate to.

Tonight is a dedication not to fanfiction.  
Tonight is a dedication to the people behind the words.  
The people that change lives with some brainrot they produced at 3am on five cups of coffee and a red bull.

I think we should start with a fic that changed my life. 

Never before have I found something to touch on the small moments. The small things that affect you.  
The sick, twisted want that was always and never there.

Never before have I found something I checked every day, anxiously waiting for an upload.  
Never before then had I met someone so kind, and so genuine in their comments.  
Winter, you reminded me what it was to be human.

We move next to the fic that I cried over, begging my sister to use her data on holiday just to read it.  
Another human, living on this useless space rock, with a life they were leading. They’d taken my soul and pummeled it, aided only by their words.  
With a sentence and a keyboard, I shattered.

Moji, you taught me to love before I lost. 

When I look at the fics that cradle me when I’m sad, there are many.

Heck, I have a Google Docs folder titled “So Much Angst.”

It’s the words that remind you that someone else feels how you feel right now. That someone can read you, and have never known you. Fics that can break apart your anatomy like you’re laying on an autopsy table.

Qar, you’ve always written what I needed, intentional or not.

There are stories that aren’t stories. More analysis, more observation. The careful, skilled and loving documentation. Understanding and somehow painting fact mixed with fiction, until you can’t tell the difference. 

Sometimes, these works remind you that the people you watch are human, and live a life not so different to your own, not too far away from what you have lived, and will live. Struggles and demons that they fight alongside you. 

Bluesandbirds. You wrote the first fic I grew attached to on ao3

Thank you, thank you to you authors, and to everyone that hit me that I cannot put here tonight. You’re shaping people, and changing lives. I wish you the good in this world. 


End file.
